HOPE

This week I was asked to define what the word hope meant to me. It took me by surprise because I had never really been asked to define it, yet I use the word almost everyday. "I hope this works out, I hope he likes me, I hope I make it there on time...I hope, I hope, I hope. What I came to find on this journey of defining the word is that hope is not a feeling or emotion..It is a reality.

We are so busy looking at what is right in front of our face as if we have blinders on. Once we become bored of it we toss it over our shoulders and move onto the next bigger, better, or shinier thing. This really challenged me to take an even deeper look in to my life and ask myself this, "What legacy am I forming for my future"? I need to look PAST the temporal and have eyes of faith. To let go of temptation and fix my gaze upon Jesus.We are to hope in the glory of God. If hoping in the glory of God is a reality then it doesn't matter what is going on in our life, good or bad, because it does not change the hope and reality of Christ. Hope in Him does not put us to shame, because God is NEVER SHAKEN! 

Romans 5:1-5 
"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us".


Redemption is with Christ, He will accomplish. The person of Christ is enough because He is a God of unbreakable promises. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugD0i5Y3cw8&ob=av2n

Paralyzed by Fear

Fear is not always rational, but it is powerful.

I think that one thing that we do not realize is that we were born without fear. In 1 Timothy 2:7 it says, "God has NOT given us a spirit of fear, but of POWER, LOVE, and a SOUND MIND". How humbling is that? God formed us with out fear, which means that every single fear we have...is a LEARNED fear. It does not come from Christ, but from satan. So with this being said....Why are we so consumed with it?

We live in a culture CRIPPLED by fear. When I really dug deep into why I fear and what I fear... I thought this is so pathetic to me to be completely honest. With God, there is NOTHING to fear. But when I say that...please don't think that you are some horrible person because you fear...I fear things all the time, but I have chosen to take those thoughts captive as it says in 2 Corinthians 10:5.

Fear is not the lack of faith, fear is the faith in "what if".. When we choose to fear we place our faith in the "what if" rather then God's promises.

For the longest time my faith was in...
1. What if my bells palsy never goes away?
2. What if I never get married?
3. What if I cannot find a job after graduation?

What if...what if...what if...but what I really needed to say is, through my bells palsy I will choose JOY and suffer well, through my singleness I will glorify my God who blesses me with a new day every morning, and when I am in pursuit of a future job I will prayerfully consider where I can be a light for Christ.

You see what we fear, reveals what we value. It also reveals where you trust God the least. I do not want this to even be a thought in my mind! I long to trust God completely..and say "Where you go I KNOW is best...so I will go also"...For there is nothing that can stand up against Gods plan, because He is more powerful.

What are you not fully trusting to God? My challenge to you is to Seek God until He takes away your fears...then keep seeking.

But we cannot pray "Lord take away every single fear", because He won't do that....instead we need to pray.."Lord help me to see that YOU are BIGGER then my fears".

I hope that what God has revealed to me about fear will open your eyes as mine were.This song is such a great reminder of how great our God is!

Waiting for HIS Best.

This weekend I went to a womens conference and we went through one of my favorite passages. Proverbs 31. I have always viewed marriage as a beautiful thing that I desire to be blessed with someday, so going into this weekend I knew that I would love this.

"An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband TRUSTS in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life".
-Proverbs 31:10-12.

But what surprised me the most is even after hearing all of this amazing insight from women of all ages and various stages in their life I found myself begin to sadden and say to myself..."Why am I not married yet?", "What is God waiting for?". But through giving this up to Christ and surrendering my selfishness, He revealed so much beauty behind my weakness.

You see, many people today view singleness as a punishment or simply find no joy through it. What I find is that it is a blessing to be single. We so struggle to realize that this time is crucial for our relationship and growth in Christ. Christ wants us to be satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being loved by Him first; by giving ourselves completely and unreservedly to Him to have an intensely personal relationship with Him alone. We have to discover that only in Christ can our satisfaction be found.

Don't get me wrong, I so long to be married, to know and to wholeheartedly LOVE and serve my future husband. But the Lord has me in waiting, preparing my heart for my husband...But I would rather wait for His Best, then settle for "companionship". So I take this time and fall in love with Christ more everyday, to strive to know His character. I pray for my husband, pray for protection over him, for him to guard his heart and to be a warrior for God.

I pray that the Lord makes me into a Proverbs 31 woman, to show me how to be love and serve my husband and children. To further His Kingdom together. And when we meet he will know me, and he will find me,
Where… the boldness of Esther meets the warm closeness of Ruth.
Where the hospitality of Lydia is aligned with the submission of Mary,
Which is engulfed in the tears of a praying Hanna.
I will be the one, drenched in Proverbs 31…WAITING FOR YOU...

Ecuador

Friends,
    I know, I know...It has been forever sense I have updated this. Life has been utter chaos and I apologize.

Over spring break I had the blessing of going to Ecuador on a missions trip with my Church, Matthias Lot. If I could describe it in two words I would say, LIFE CHANGING. I cannot even begin to express how greatly the Lord humbled my heart when I was down there. Instead of writing a novel about the trip and taking up hours of your time I will write about what God hit me in the face with.

Do you limit God?
Over the week I was down in Ecuador, I continually found myself limiting Christ. I would say to myself, "I don't know Spanish, how can I love these people?"  or "What if I mess up, what if I don't pray the right things" But God just broke my heart and illustrated to me that LOVE HAS NO LANGUAGE BARRIER! These children just want someone to listen, (even when they know you don't speak the same language) They ache for someone to just snuggle with. They have no love shown to them, they are left alone all day. These children were anywhere from infancy to 12 years old. The Lord pressed it on my heart to just simply show them Jesus by loving on His children. What greater way to further His Kingdom.

This is Carlitos, his home for the week was on my lap snuggling

This is Emille, she loved to laugh and be tickled

The Lord also illustrated His greatness by showing us that it doesn't matter what language you speak. He is the same God in America that He is in Ecuador, or Antarctica, Africa, Albania, Germany or wherever you go. We had the blessing of worshiping at a Church that gathered in a small apartment with over 40 people just simply praising God. We worshiped in Spanish and English, and listened to Marc and our translator speak about His goodness and how we are called to love. While looking around I was taken back. I had limited God once again. Although we may not have been fluent in Spanish, we serve a God of many names. Messiah, Redeemer, Yahweh, Dios, Creator...but with all of these different names, and languages...He is UNCHANGING!

 And lastly, just the beauty of the country...took my breath away. I have never felt God more present then I had on that trip. I feel humbled and forever changed. I feel like this blog and these pictures do not even give this opportunity justice. If you would like to hear more or the details of the trip I would LOVE to sit and share. For all of the prayers that went out during this trip for our team, thank you so so much! We felt so blessed by all of your support.

Our view every morning

The monkey's loved us

Let me introduce you to my Savior

Proverbs 30 Woman

Hello friends,

This week I was able to sit down with a phenomenal woman of God. Her name is Liz Burzynski and I have the blessing of being discipled by her every other week. She has such patience and a wisdom, she speaks a great deal of truth into my life and I am forever grateful!!

If you know anything about me then you know that I tend to be quite the chatter box. I have a million (literally a million) questions running through my mind, and 98% of them are about Jesus and the Bible. God definitely knew what He was doing when he placed Liz into my life. She will literally just sit there and INTENTIONALLY listen to me and not belittle me for not knowing. Rather she will speak the truth that the Holy Spirit has revealed to her, ask me what I think (which usually helps me answer my own silly question), or we have the other absolute blessing of running upstairs and asking her husband. (He is bomb!)

The Burzynski's have given me such a beautiful illustration of what a family after God's own heart looks like. Liz shows me what Godly submission is, patience, having a servants heart, how to laugh things off...or laugh at me.. :) how to confront my problems, how to pray out loud with confidence..ha... how to be nurturing to children as well as disciplinary, I could go on and on...But to not make this a novel. She IS a Proverbs 30 woman!! I could not ask for a better role model in my life. She takes discipleship to the next level! She not only digs into the word with me, but invites me into her home, out with her girlfriends, to dinner etc...I have never felt so loved from someone outside of my family before.

God is just so good to me and continues to reveal His character through the Godly women he puts in my life. Through what I have been learning through my church home, lot family and discipleship I have more confidence in my walk with God. I know that it is ok not to know the answers all the time, but the difference is that now I am constantly hunger and wanting to know more.

So thank you Liz!!! You have no idea all the blessings you have given me, and although this blog isn't even close to how extraordinary you are, I hope it can give you a glimpse of how great you are!

She is not only beautiful but a God fearing woman!

Quick to listen but slow to judge

Hello friends.

The past 2 days have been quite interesting if I might say so myself. I had the blessing of meeting someone that just really blew me out of the water. He challenged me to look at my faith in a new way and hunger to know more. I will call him Daniel through my story.

We found ourselves in random conversations that all led to one foundation. Jesus. I was asked and struggled to answer some of his questions. But the thing that really set me back was the lack of judgement I felt when I was not able to fully answer a question. Rather he encouraged me in a way (whether he knew or not) to seek after that answer and to run harder towards the foot of the cross.

Daniel had a personality that is extremely unique and genuine. When you meet him you are just drawn to his warm smile and strong character. When people would see him they would immediately light up. It was pretty humbling to see the effect that he had left on people here on campus.

In the end of the very short time I was able to spend with this new friend I had learned more in those few days from him then I have from friends I have known almost my entire life. He inspired me to become more concrete in my faith. Not to boast in knowledge but to be humbled by wisdom.

So I say to you, Daniel, thank you for pushing me more towards Jesus, and showing me that there are men out there that are hungry to learn and grow. Who will not pass judgement but rather words of encouragment.

One thing that I found to be a total God thing is how He orchestrated all of this. In my lot family we studied in Galatians 6:1-18 on how to build one another up in the spirit of gentleness and to restore and not belittle. Then not even a week later I meet someone who illustrated this for me and gave me a desire pursue this kind of spirit. One of kindness, humility and gentleness...one who does not look to gain anything but rather restore others through being an instrument of Jesus Christ.

With all of this being said, all I have left to say is...Thank you Daniel, I was truly blessed.

My name is Pride. I am a Cheater.

Hello Friends.
I hope you all had a great new year! Through the first week of the New Year God has been showing me so much that I literally find it hard to even put into words. (So hang in there through my brain farts.)

I have been convicted to seek and just LISTEN to God. Whether or not I feel like He is listening or responding. Through this God has really shown me my selfishness and how bad of a friend I have been to certain people. For a short time I began to focus on my own needs and if I was having fun. A few days later the Lord gave me a wake up call. A friend of mine wanted to discuss something and I just pushed them off. Later that day God just put it on my heart how selfish I was being. I was able to apologize for my actions and truly believe that they forgave me but that does not justify my actions. My selfishness and cold heart was revealed to me. My eyes were open. What did my friend do to deserve this? NOTHING. They have been nothing but a phenomenal blessing in my life and I chose to be a jerk. And because of my own stupidity I may have lost someone really important in my life.

With all of this being said...I am not trying to have a pity party, but rather to ask you. Who are you taking for granite? Who has God put specifically in your life to speak truth and love and you are just pushing them off like it is nothing. God used this person to build me up and us them as an instrument in my life to help me heal at a really rough patch in my faith. And I am forever grateful. I just wish I would have realized it sooner.

Don't let selfishness and pride take over your heart friends. Through this journey God has taken me through I found this iin an old Bible Study lesson I had gone through. God is good, what a great reminder of what pride can do...

My name is Pride. I am a Cheater.

I cheat you of your God-given destiny-because you demand your own way.

I cheat you of contentment-because you "deserve better then this".

I cheat you of knowledge-because you already know it all.

I cheat you of healing-because you're too full of me to forgive.

I cheat you of holiness-because you refuse to admit when you're wrong.

I cheat you of vision-because you'd rather look in the mirror then out the window.

I cheat you of genuine friendship- because nobodies going to know the real you.

I cheat you of love-because real romance demands sacrifice.

I cheat you of greatness of heaven- because you refuse to wash another's feet on earth.

I cheat you of God's glory-because I convince you to seek your own.

My name is PRIDE.

You like me because you think I'm always looking out for you. Untrue. I am looking out to make a fool out of you. God has so much for you, I admit, but don't worry...if you stick with me, you'll never know